Retroactively Applied, 12 January 2008

This lovely young lady is wearing the latest in pret-a-porter swimwear designed by an inexplicably popular American fashion house. As described in the adcopy, this mons veneris enhancing suit is made of the flashy dancewear synthetic lame (there should be an accent aigu over that last “e” in lame, just F your and everyone else’s I) and is cut in a streamlined silhouette to really shave seconds off one’s time in the 100 meter butterfly stroke. and by butterfly stroke, i think they mean money shot. but buyer beware: this practical garment evidently will get scratched or otherwise damaged with repeated wear and should be worn in neither salt nor chlorinated water. that said, no worries about wearing this delightful piece of masturbilia in a pool of VD. This whore has paired her lame suit with a tube bra and a rohypnol induced faraway stare. the insouciant hint of camel toe really completes the look!This is the exact look that could have been rocked by Erin Moran in her post Chachi daze. It also could have really amped up Jimmy “the Superfly” Snuka’s game in the pro-wrestling arena. Such versatility has rarely been seen in one garment! From this side view, you can practically smell the stale Marb lights and complete loss of dignity.